Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???


(via dulect)


"im 12 but i am mature for my age"


(Source: dadvevo, via thathilariousasian)

random thought (from yesterday)

Yesterday I was at Macy’s with my mom and I was clearly looking at a huge sign that said $10. A lady comes up to me and says “hi miss, that’s $10 :D” and in my head I’m like

no way!!!!!! really?????? omq lemme call NASA to tell them of this new discovery omg!!! 

kid: dad whats a 69
dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]