I’m so fuckin angry and pissed that if someone offered me a bowl of good ice cream, I’d actually turn it down

Fuckin fuck man

Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick???



stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat



(Source: 40ozbaka, via givingblowjobs)


if i ever misgender you:

  1. it is not on purpose i promise
  2. im very sorry
  3. tell me your correct pronouns and ill use them
  4. spray me with cold water

(Source: marukobott, via orgasm)

Oh god.. I’m in flushing with my family and my dad yells at the top of his lungs “we all look the same!!!”


Okay.. I had a dream that I was getting a manicure but when the manicurist was cutting my cuticles, I decided I didn’t want it anymore so I ripped my hand away from her. I actually felt the clipper on my fingers. Could I have been ripping my cuticles away? Possibly a crumb???